Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I wish I could understand the words that come out of my mouth. I'm slowly starting to give up and I honestly am no longer sure as to why. Wishes never come true if you haven't noticed lately. Intangible is how my mind has been feeling as of now and forever. The summer is here and I'm in a terrible mood, broken and fragile I cry and cry. Its okay though I'm used to being hurt, I promise I'm okay. I'm not asking for pity or what not, I just don't know what to do. What to think. Why do I think? It only makes me feel worse. Everyone has told me not to think but its just simply that thought that appears and appears, it lingers and stains my face with placid lines. I laugh, because I figured I'm insane. But I'm a fool, I can't tell him I love him, I always thought I could only love myself; straining to smile the tears away, I think of the rainbows, maybe my baby will make the sun shine more. Just hear me out: I'm not over you yet... and I know I'm not the only one, I know you feel it too. Make me think that maybe I won't die alone, what have I become? Obsessed? Sick? Fallen so far away from everything I started from. I never thought I could love anyone but myself. My questions weren't answered because even though I asked them... No thought came to mind that you should have, I still want to know. I still want to know why I am still crushed under a million tons of my own misery. I still want to know... what are we?
Flatter me and make me smile,
Come here and stay for a while.
Countless stars shining bright as wishes were made,
For many days and nights I spent waiting for you,
Finally once and for all… you’ve come true.
Dream boy, this is to you read it and be happy, please?
Don't worry this will be discarded soon. Don't read my sorrows and feel bad simply because I don't think I can repair what was once had. Not on my own at least. Maybe they're right... "what ever you do, I hope you make the right choice." But what is the right choice? To wait and linger or straight on just disappear? I'm starting to realize maybe I can't do it anymore. Its funny because its only been a few days but who would have known things could hurt this much? I'm about to give in, give in to failure but with failure means I can return to having nothing. Sadly nothing is really all I want. Nothing will make me feel whole again. Because with nothing you feel nothing and there will be no reason to suffer you see? In my world of Nothing no one will dare to shed a tear and no one feels pain simply because there is nothing to feel. I'll be honest, you are my first true love and its killing me inside.
I'll call you when I feel better.
When it's all over I'll let you know.
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