If I could cringe anymore in my stomach, I might as well pull out my own guts.
If I could bite my lip any harder I might as well scream to the top of my lungs.
If I could drive any faster I'd run the car into a river without me in it.
If I could shake any harder I think I'd lose my head.
If I could just be myself and tell the truth I wouldn't hate you as much as I now do.
If I could be happy then I wouldn't beat myself up as much.
If I could look at you the same I'd try to, but the reality is I can't.

It's hilarious how you pain me.
It's hilarious that when you try it really does work.
It's hilarious that I am laughing when in reality it really does hurt.
It's hilarious that I'm an idiot and you can keep on adding to your book.
It's hilarious that my pathetic attempt to hate you isn't working anymore.

If you would just go away, I think I'd be just fine.
If you would just stay quiet and not think of ways to hurt me, I'd smile a true smile.
If you would just stop weaving my dreams I wouldn't feel the need to incriminate you.
If you would just sleep for a second I would look away, despite all acts of faithfulness.
If you would just let me let you go then everything would be okay.

To Imploringly Wishing you away.
To Imploringly Wishing the sky to fade gray.
To Imploringly Wishing tomorrow will give me another hopeful day.
To Imploringly Wishing he'd just go away.
To Imploringly Wishing to never respond as to why.

It has become... a criminal.

A four letter lie...