The Encounter with My Reflection: Gemini
I grit my teeth as I sit before the mirror once again, my reflection ceases to appear. With a powerful glare I stare deep into the abyss of her sunlit room upon which the light has begun to deplete recovering the night once again. All ten fingers dance noisily against the dresser-- da dump, da dump, da dump --I am restless, I am furious, where is she!? I have so much to tell her... so much pain to give and let her know that I am the weaker side to her... but still she does not appear.
Eventually bored and tired of waiting I ponder around the room repeating the da dump but now with my feet. A clattering noise soon catches my attention and I make an instant 360 towards the mirror, to my disdain it is her cat clawing at the mirror. I walk towards it almost hunched and peer into the dead silence and darkness of her room, upon staring hard enough I begin to see a shape in the corner, which begins to turn into a figure, and then I realize that shape is her. My eyes are in shock and I don't know what to do, I begin to panic; placing my hands upon my head I begin to think of how similar me and her are to the Gemini.
She is sensitive, deviant, adoring, contempt, trustworthy, never one to pose, argumentative, but you know? Thats all alright, its something I'm used to and I love her for that... sometimes. Gemini, oh Gemini, tell me your distant secrets. Secrets so distant that you have left me alone, too scared to ask you personally I write it in words where emotions show but my tears are hidden. I smile at you even when I'm not happy and this you know but can you really tell? When I'm angry? Jealous? Depressed?
Your face is only a memory seen in pictures or pictured when I hear your voice, I smile.
Still staring at her tightly huddled figure in the corner of her barely twilight room, I press my hands against the dresser, lift both feet onto the chair before it and I slowly crawl through the mirror; her room, pale and lifeless with whitely painted walls and a framed poster of ballerina's shoes upon the keys of a piano, her bed which is off centered is a canopy bed sweetly decorated with faint colors of pinks and dark purples to accent the whites of her pillows and blankets, a glass door leading to her bathroom and another leading to the corridors of her house, are left closed and silently untouched. Her window is closed this time the curtains do not move from the wind that once blew forcefully at its arms. I crawl from a top of her neatly organized vanity set with assorted accessories, makeup and so on. My feet fall neatly to the floor which they are greeted by the purring of her all black cat as she rubs against my bare leg. Reaching down I pet her silky fur which embraces my fingers in the warmth of her tar like coat. The cat leads me to her whimpering owner who sits in the corner embraced within herself, I stand above her returning the heartless gaze she gave me upon our last meeting.
"Get up.' I nudge her gently with my foot, she doesn't move and silence fills the air. 'Get up!' I kick her again but more forcefully this time, she curves and tumbles against me then the wall then me again. I crouch to my knees and stare deep into her entangled self thinking of her pain and how she must feel; I reach my hand and place it floppily upon her head and begin to stroke her long black hair, eventually I sit down next to her and lean my head against her folded shoulder, words cannot compensate this moment but can leave it frozen in time, words are not needed, as for the Gemini and how similar we will never be.
I awaken from my thought of Gemini, as I look around I am no longer in the dark abyss of her twilight colored room but in the brightly lighted corner of my own room, with my head no longer on her shoulder but against the hard, cold wall that encloses me in my room. I stare at my bunk bed, my computer that now plays its screen saver, my plastic covered windows that are almost abnormal balloons from the howling of the arctic wind from outside them. I look around to see the many posters that give my room emotion and separation from all that is not me. And then a thought of her enters my head, I hop to my feet and run to the dresser, shaking the mirror stands before me, where is she? I stare into the mirror that now reflects me, myself, the girl I don't want to see right now with smeared make-up under my eyes and a red cloud that covers the spot where her shoulder once was, has she locked me from her world? I am lost without her... what have I done? Where is she?
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